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Been thinking hard and talking to friends (thanks) I realize I need to get my broom out and start using it for more than ceremonial status. lol



I'm going to begin clearing out of junk and things that are cluttering up my mind and life right now. I am not a collector and dislike things piled up. Even my unread book stack is bugging me!



Time to stop my physical ills from keeping me from doing the things I need to open myself back up. So it might take time but I will clear this all out and banish this negativity from my mind and life.



I really hope it works...

I just finished reading the journal of a person I love. I believe she's the person who knows the most about me maybe even more than my sister. We are all many different parts that make up a whole and at times one or more of them fail to operate correctly.



Reading that I realize just how technical I sound which indicates to me that my emotions are in a very bad place right now. The more techy I turn, the more I am distancing myself from people, even the ones I love and trust the most.



Rat thinks she's a hard person to be friends with but the truth is that she's very easy to be friends with because you have to go deeper than friendship to actually love her, which I do.



The strange part is that I try to distance myself from everyone when I'm in a bad place because I fear making others feel low or god forbid to my level. It's very hard being here and I don't want company. I need to hide within myself until I can find a light to lead me out of my darkness. Cliche I know but true none the less.



But while I wallow here I have failed my friends. I have not been there for them in the way I should or want to be. I feel guilty for that yet know no other way to protect them from me right now.



I can talk and try to superficially cheer them up but that is not the same as sitting beside them and listening as they pour their pain out to someone who loves them and wants to ease it. I so want to be that person again, I just don't know how to get there at the moment.

Better than I expected on this laptop keyboard. I'm much more used to a normal sized keyboard.



Your speed was 47 WPM with 2 mistakes (adjusted speed 45 WPM)



Take the test at



http://www.learn2type.com/index.cfm?action=TypingTest

My doctor finally called and gave me the results of the MRI on my right knee. Just as he suspected it's a meniscus tear. Based on the way it feels it's possibly a severe tear but might be only very bad. What a choice, either way it seems that surgery is how it is fixed.



I'm not sure that I'm willing to do that but I'm going to see him and discuss all the options. I've had surgery on my left knee and while it works again it's not very stable nor really comfortable. Plus the surgeon told me flat out I'll need to have it replaced in just a few years.



Will it be the same thing if I have the right one Fixed! Because that's not really fixing it to me just patching it up is like putting bondo on a car fender eventually you'll have to replace the part.



I went online and looked up different treatments and most of them start off with staying off of it, and keeping it elevated. Yea right, where in my current life is that possible? If I don't have the surgery will it just be painful with the occasional flare up of not working at all and severe pain? That might actually be an option, but the pain really sucks. I think whatever my doctor says I'm going to the city to find a specialist and not use the local sports medicine clinic I did the last time.

A new species of Giant Rat has been found in Indonesia, it is FIVE times the size of a normal city rat. So for all of you that wondered how the rat was big enough to cause such trouble, there you go.



Don't believe me- take a gander below! lol

The 12 Days of Christmas- VR style



On the 1st Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

A profile with a great Rating



On the 2nd Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

Two fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating



On the 3rd day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

Three wise Consuls, two fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating



On the 4th day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

4 busy Procurators, three Consuls, two fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating



On the 5th day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

5 serious Dominars... 4 procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating



On the 6th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

Six crazed acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.



On the 7th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

Seven searching Sentorans, six acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.



On the 8th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

Eight forum posts, 7 searching Sentorans, six acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.



On the 9th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

Nine whelps a weeping, 8 forum posts, 7 searching Sentorans, six acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.



On the 10th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

10 busy Master Vamps, 9 whelps a weeping, 8 forum posts, 7 searching Sentorans, six acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.



On the 11th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

11 serious sires, 10 master vamps, 9 whelps a weeping, 8 forum posts, 7 searching Sentorans, six acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.



On the 12th Day of Christmas Cancer gave to me

12 months of premium membership, 11 serious sires, 10 master vamps, 9 whelps a weeping, 8 forum posts, 7 searching Sentorans, six acolytes, 5 Dominars, 4 Procurators, 3 Consuls, 2 Fancy stamps and a profile with a great rating.

Saw on the news that Dan Fogleberg lost his battle with Cancer today. Most of the young folks here probably have no ideal who he was but the man knew how to write good songs. His voice was good, not great but he made it work with his music. I enjoyed listening to him and especially the song he wrote very special to folks from my state. See he wrote the Run for the Roses which is the theme song for the Kentucky Derby. You cannot help but feel it in your heart when it plays, now that's a true songwriter. You will be missed very much, a poet of my generation.

Back from the dentist and I'm glad it's done, luckily he was able to pull the broken tooth and didn't have to cut it out. I was able to just be numbed with some shots and not knocked out so that was great to me.



At one point right before he starts to pull it, he says "let me know if anything bothers you" I said "sure but I'm not watching" and closed my eyes. They started laughing and he said "I wish all my patients were this cheerful" I couldn't say a word as he said Open up at that point. It was an upper tooth and while it didn't hurt, it didn't come out easy either. Dang those roots felt like they were coming our from around my nose. lol



Now I get to go tomorrow evening to my regular doctor and see if he can figure out what I've done to my knee. Darn thing keeps giving out and just plain hurts like a knife is shoved into the joint. Not the usual arthritis pain, I know how that hurts, this isn't it and I don't really have time to have to go to the doctor right now with all the last minute stuff to get ready for the family and the meal and everything else I need to have done but I am not getting it done without being able to walk half the time either.



Guess I should have put a warning that this entry is boring as hell and no fun to read but eh whatever, I was just feeling bored anyway. lol

Hey Rat! I found you a fancy name finally. Check this pretty little lady out and you'll be so surprised.

Jerboa

You have to love having a friend that is not only blessed with a wicked sense of humor but also a sense of honor that makes her ride to the defense in many different ways of her friends.



Such is the case today of Rat who saw a person had been jacking with the Carcael, and throwing a saddle on her cat (what else is the right size for a rat to ride) she tears off to respond by using her wit and very sharp pen (okay keyboard) to rip and tear to shreds the idiocy of the "troll" that saw fit to mess with a member of the zoo.



I have to admit this ought to be a fun one to watch. I have seen the Rat take strong men to their knees with but a few words spoken and a look so I get a shiver just imagining what she can do if she really cuts loose. lol I must admit I almost hope the "troll" decides to play. Alas the game will be terribly one sided but then who would dare take on a Rat.



Suck my... Journal indeed!

There is a Rat on this site that is getting herself in hot water. She has now announced to her huge number of journal readers that she got to play with my boobs and legs Friday night. Okay it was for a christmas party and she's much better with makeup and fashion that I ever will be.



You know it wouldn't be so bad if I actually had got a kick out of that! *evil grin*



Wonder what kind of seasonings I need to add to that stew pot? Any suggestions?

This music takes on even more meaning when heard with a family of law enforcement folk and of course a glass of whisky for the appropriate drinks.

Things I learned from living in Kentucky



Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.



There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Kentucky.



There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Kentucky plus a couple no one's seen before.



If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.



Onced and Twiced are words.



It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.



People actually grow and eat okra.



"Fixinto" is one word.



There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.



Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!



Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."



DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"



You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.



You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.



You measure distance in minutes.



You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.



"Fix" is a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."



All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.



You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.



You know what a "DAWG" is.



You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.



There are only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.



The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.



The first day of deer season is a national holiday.



100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.



Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."



A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.



A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop . . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"



Fried catfish is the other white meat.



We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.



If you understand these jokes you might be from Kentucky (or just wish you were).

Went to the state police christmas partly last night and saw a bunch of old friends. You know there isn't anyone that can get loose and drunk faster than cops off duty. lol It was a blast pretty much from the start. I really needed a break from home and then went over and got Rat to fix my makeup and she loaned me the wickedest pair of lace up ankle boots, sharp toed and a spindly heel. It took me a bit to get used to walking in them but they were great for dancing.



The meal was decent and the speaches fairly short though one poor young trooper was given the special bent hubcap award since coming on 18 months ago he has managed to hit a horse, tree, deer and a duck in flight. He took it pretty good laughing until someone pointed out he has also hit a cat and bicycle since the award was prepared. The captain took that moment to inform him that PETA had filed a complaint against him and he was the first in KSP history to have that happen. Fellows face couldn't have gotten any redder. But it was funny and they quickly moved on to harass another one. The biggest applause went to a couple of troops sitting there pretty quietly that had spent all night working overtime to find an elderly man that had got sick while driving to another town and got lost and confused. They did a great job of tracking him and just plain second quessing which way he might have went because they found him in the early morning, alive though needing medical treatment and he was no where near where he had started or where any of his family thought he'd be. They were shy but it was an awesome job to know the man would be home with his grandkids for x-mas.



The visiting dignitarys and the captain and higher ranks left soon after the door prizes were awarded and then the music and real fun started. It had been discovered during the 1st 20 minutes that the pump for the keg was broken and there was a near munity until one of the women said she could get another and left (no not with lights and siren on) but she was welcomed with open arms and much thanks upon her return. By now the crowd had thinned from nearly 80 to about half that and those were the ones wanting to let their hair down. Okay yea the guys all have extremely short to no hair by choice most of the time. It only takes one fight where you get jerked around by the hair of your head before most of them start cutting it off.



Sergeant C came around with the usual quart jar of moonshine and we all shared it around, damn it was some strong stuff but smoother than last years which melted my fillings.

My door prize was a 750 ml of Jim Beam Bourbon and a Larry the Cable Guy X-mas CD which had everyone laughing since I'm not the county girl type. As you may have figured the Bourbon did not last to make it home with me but it was fun.



There is nothing quite like seeing drunk guys who can't walk straight trying to line dance. lol

Then finally Toby Keith's Beer for my horses came on and the whole damn place had to dance -sergents orders and take a swig of your drink every time they raised a glass. A brief break for mop up was had and then some faster music was put on and the real dancing got started. My girlfriend K got wicked drunk and put the moves on Sgt T who she'd had the hots for a long time now. He was pretty wasted to so I'm not sure either of them will even remember the dirty dancing they got up to on the floor, the balcony and at one point the stairway.



The party was held in a place that was very private and there was one sgt there to make sure no one left driving drunk, if their women or menfolk were drunk too a ride was found for them.



There were several funny points but when Mikey was drunk and started dancing with 5 other women "shaking his ass" and even getting half way on top of the table to continue it was spit out your drink funny. Then it seemed to calm down a bit and everyone was shocked when this one tall big mean ass trooper who is the best damn shot and has used that skill in several hostage situations responded to a dare from his date and dripped trowel and danced in his skivies (hot pink with red lips all over them) went real well with his jet black shirt. He got a huge round of applause and several offers of an unsavory sort at that...



Okay now I know most of you could care less about this party or the folks involved and that's cool but since Rat and Birdie will want to know I figure this is the fastest way of letting them know. Oh yea there was one couple that I hadn't seen in some time and we got to talking and they wanted to know what I did with my time and I told them spent a lot of it online and had met some really cool people and they asked for the name VR of course. They actually wrote it down and want to come check it out. I hope they enjoy it too.



Okay best get to moving as I didn't get in until 1:30 am and I'm not fully recovered yet but it was a great party.

It seems I've been very quiet here for a while now. It's not that there's been that little to write about but more a case of too much to do to spare the time. I have missed it a lot but sometimes you just have to take care of business.



Big changes going on for me, I now have to get up every weekday morning at 6:30 am to drive my little nephew to preschool. He's just 3 but the doctors/therapist say he needs speech therapy to get his talk right. I took him today for the first time and he was just fine, the rest of us had no sleep for worrying about how he would handle it and then all day sitting on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring to come and get him. But he did just fine a bit too rough for them as he's used to wrestling with his 10 year old sister all the time. But that's okay he'll figure it out.



Picking him up was weird as they kept the parents standing outside an extra 10 minutes in a sleet/rain mix with a strong wind blowing that froze me to the bone.



But I've been so used to staying up as late as I want and then sleeping late that this is going to be a big change getting up early all the time. I hope my poor old alarm clock is up to it. I haven't used it this much since I retired. I find sleeping quite difficult so I have to turn in around 10pm so that I can try for at least 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I managed 2 1/2 today so I'm plumb whipped. Oh well it's worth it if they can make him talk better and they say he won't have the thick accent like the rest of the family. That's good as most folks hear a few words out of my mouth and figure me for a country idiot. I wish there was a way to make them understand that just 'cause I don't wanna talks fancy, doesn't mean I do not know the proper usage of English. Fact of the matter is I'm pretty proud of my heritage, My paternal grandparents worked very hard to raise a large family and my paternal grandfather immigrated to the US from Ireland as a boy, he owned a large farm and raised a big family too. All my brothers and sister work for a living and we all started when we were young teenagers. I may not sound as intelligent as fancy folks but don't mistake it for stupidity.



Dang how did I end up on that rant? I guess that comment someone made bothered me more than I thought. *shrugs*